Addiction
I know I have an addictive personality. I am uncertain if it is part of my bipolar disorder or part of my inheritance from my family history - it is probably a bit of both. Alcoholism is a vice that runs through my family tree - it sounds shameful, but it is unfortunately common in many families. It is something I deal with personally. I am currently very discouraged in my choices. I find it ironic that just last year, around this time, I was engaged in deep drinking. From mid-May through all of June, I consumed whole bottles of wine to myself and hid the empty shells away from the eyes of my loved ones. I drank for the high, to be carried away into a state of numbness where everything felt dizzy and funny. It felt so nice to not feel heavy and lead-like under the anvil of my depression and anxiety. But of course, that feeling would be gone the next morning. I would sleep for hours upon hours, dreading getting up from my bed. And when I eventually did, I jus...